It was a clear crisp December day, not a cloud in the sky, when I decided to go to an afternoon matinee. It was my birthday, and I was very much alone.
I pulled into the parking lot, grabbed a handful of change from the center console, and made my way to the ticket booth. I counted out my pennies as the line grew behind me.
Wouldn’t you know it… I was about 37 cents short of the 2.50 I needed to get in. Imagine. Counting out pennies, nickels, and dimes… and not being able to come up with a few measly dollars. Not a good feeling.
All the money I had in the world was sitting back in my car. Maybe another two dollars or so. But in that moment, overcome with shame, there’s no way in the world I was going to go get the change and come back to buy a ticket.
I don’t think I even felt so ashamed of myself in my entire life, as I gathered up my coins, and slinked back to the car, unable to even look at the ever-growing line of good honest movie-goes I was slowing up. How many of them even knew what a pathetic loser I was? I have no idea.
Just the look of pity on the face of the young woman dispensing tickets was enough to sink me into a slimy mush of humiliation I’ll never forget, even 35 years later.
I’m pretty sure she would’ve paid the difference out of her own pocket, but drowning in my own shame, that never occurred to me.
Instead, I sat in the car and cried for about two hours. I cried and cried and cried, and in the end, I made an empowered choice. Mustering all the intensity I had, I vowed THIS WILL NEVER EVER EVER HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN.
Wouldn’t you know it? Shortly thereafter, opportunities started to present themselves, and before I could even figure out what was going on, I found myself making more money than I ever thought possible.
At the time, I never made the connection between empowered choice and ‘reality’. Reality was something that ‘just happened’.
I got lucky. Or so I thought at the time…
I didn’t know we create reality out of our resonance. You create YOUR reality out of YOUR resonance, just as I do. (Sometimes, our realities overlap!)
Resonance stands as the synergy of all the many different energies inside you. Beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and feelings… desire, imagination, love, will, trust (or lack thereof!). And various other energies as well.
Whatever holds the greatest intensity generally has the greatest influence on your resonance. (That intensity, I call ’emotional magnetism’.)
Getting back to the movie experience – my shame and my beliefs and my self-image as a pauper were major contributors to the reality I manifested that day. The energies came first. Out of the shame, I created a shameful situation.
The situation did not create the shame. The shame created the situation. That’s a critical distinction. One that’s easy to say, but more challenging to truly accept.
However, the shame really did come first. Just like the empowered choice came first, before my reality changed for the better.
One choice – filled with intensity – changed the direction of my life. I combined a mountain of hurt and determination with the willingness to change, and gave it direction (choice).
I took my intensity – my emotional magnetism – and used it as fuel to move forward. Not the cleanest motivation in the world, but in this case, it worked.
Now, I still had to follow it up. I had to remind myself of the painful shame I experienced that day. I had to remember my determination to change. And – even though I didn’t realize it at the time – I had to be willing to allow opportunity to come into my life.
Looking back now, I see my resonance changed from being a closed-up person, to becoming more of an open vessel. I was willing to receive. And out of my new resonance my reality changed drastically.
(I became a big shot in my own mind… throwing money around like crazy… but that’s another story for another time.)
The important point to understand: your reality can change. Quickly. Easily. With little or no effort on your part. ANYTHING can change, for that matter.
Oh, what’s that? You don’t believe it?
Well, how intensely are you holding onto that belief? Strongly-held beliefs tend to block change. And beliefs held together with pain and shame tend to be rather intense. Those are the beliefs we don’t dare question… so that we don’t have to FEEL that pain and shame.
Ironically, changing those types of beliefs produce the quickest, easiest change of all!
Think about it. The beliefs you’re most reluctant to address most likely keep you locked in your current resonance, which keeps your reality locked in place.
Change THOSE beliefs, and you can step into a whole new reality.
When you heal the pain and the shame, your resonance changes, and then your reality changes.
In my case, I was fortunate in that my ‘negative intensity’ was able to propel me forward in the direction I wanted to go. Yes, I was making tons of money, but I was still hurting. So I still had a lot of work to do. Money doesn’t heal anything.
Healing comes from receiving help, and from opening up your heart to allow the trapped energy to flow through you. Once you release the pain, then you can create a ‘positive intensity’.
Which, as you might imagine, feels SO MUCH BETTER. If this holds any allure for you, then click on the link below, and let’s get started.